Making judgments and criticisms in life.
Posted on July 3, 2008 - Filed Under Uncategorized
A judgment
or criticism is really a doorway into our own mind.
It does not
take a judge to make a judgment on someone, to look at the way a person chooses
to live life and rain criticism down on them.
We are all taking this role in life, scoring others on the systems and
rules that we ourselves cannot always manage to follow. The lever of expectation seems to go up
whenever another person comes into our presence, providing no leeway or guilt with
it, only a strong hand to push them on their way. What does this judgment and criticism really
mean if we were to strip away at the surface of its form?
No one can
deny it that they have at some time in their life criticized another for
something they have seen or done.
Sometimes it can come across in the harshest of ways. Such confrontation does not come without
questioning the punishment. There is always
a reason for all that is said.
The answer to
criticism is often justified with a caring endearment. The criticizer might say, “I’m doing it for
your own good?, or, “I’m saying it because I love you and care for you and do
not want you to be hurt.? In some
accounts this might be true, but at other times there might be a deeper
underlying cause that even if confronted would not be considered for one moment
as the truth. This comes purely from the
fact that one act of judgment being questioned by another, usually leads to
another persons judgment in return. This
is the way we tend to deal with the situation in order to protect
ourselves.
What is really
happening in all of this; what is the factor that we do not really want to look
at?
If we were
to look at judgment and criticism for what it really means, it would refer to
the act of not liking what another person is doing. It comes at a time when we do not hold back
and tell that person what we think of them.
Just in writing these words it becomes clearer the underlying factor of
what is really going on.
Judgment
and criticism is really just a doorway into our own mind, showing us things
that we ourselves cannot handle. If we
look at another for doing something out of place, it is usually referring to
our own problem with the control of the situation at hand. People like to think that they have control
of their life and by doing this they spend a lot of the day arranging things in
their world so that the next time they wish to interact with it, it remains the
same. This links to the inability to
accept change.
We all at
some stage find it hard to handle certain acts created by another for the fact
that it stretches outside our own security zone to which we like to live
within. If they do not conform to the
order of life we wish to live, we then conveniently criticize and judge the
other for what they are doing. It is
really just our means of trying to make them also conform to our own ways. No matter how it is seen, as fear or
inability to cope with change. The fact
that we even judge another comes down to our own control issues and leads to understanding
just in the act alone, even if we do not always admit to it. It does not take a great mind to see
criticism and judgment for what it is, it comes fast, strong and crystal clear.
What is
another interesting factor concerning the judgment and criticism of others, is
how we all deal with such judgment towards ourselves. If someone were to do such a thing back to
us, we would not stand for it, even for one second. We would wither away into our own stress and
worry, thinking over the act of the other person as being negative and
incorrect. It would not be that often
that we would say, “Yes, I agree?.
How could
we place such judgment and criticism on another if we cannot in ourselves
handle such a blow? Do we consider
ourselves always above all, that we deserve the right to be the boss? Or is it just another way in order to control
our life to all that we ourselves desire?
It is one
thing to have dreams and desires, but another to make another follow in our
footsteps and to conform to our ways.
Our choices are our own, and if we do not justify what we say to others
how then are we to expect the same in return?
There is an
easier way to avoid such ordeals and that is to re-evaluate our own reasons for
judging another and the acts of criticism that we utilize on a daily
basis. We can question the cause of why
we need to make another conform to our ways, and at the least if we still wish
to utilize such methods of interaction, justify the reason from our own
perspective, allowing the other person the chance to question such
reasoning.
At the end of the day, not matter what we choose, we will never be able
to control all our life in this way, which will eventually lead us to the
realization that life is change and if we do not accept a little leeway, we
might just find ourselves surrounded by bullies, who will find every means in
order to protect their own small boundary of security, in order to do the same.
Judgment
and criticism goes both ways, but it can stop only when we choose to acknowledge
that there is difference and change, and that right and wrong is based purely
on self justified means. We are not the
judge to make choices for another. We
are merely another person trying to find our own balance , in order to find a
way to exist secure in life with everyone all on the same path to reason.
About the author
Tags: confrontation, doorway, endearment, expectation, guilt, leeway, Presence, rain, strong hand, truth
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